To say that there is a person with absolutely no neurosis... is a lie!

Anyone who knows me personally or professionally knows that when I talk about neurosis, I speak affectionately. Everyone has them, all my patients, my significant others, psychologists and myself! Occasionally I like to talk about myself, so that it is known that not even psychologists, who “should have everything resolved or understood”, are also people, who also have wounds and anguish. In absolute personal opinion, a good psychologist will always be curious and every day, even with patients, he will meet another neurosis, and he will be curious to find out what hurts and relieve it. Naturally, you will have had a lot of personal therapy.

Today I write, after many months, inspired. Inspired by several follow-up requests and requests for opinion.. meal of the day when a psychologist reveals his profession!

Many people are worried because they have some kind of madness (another term of endearment), which they call a problem. I imagine that they will get this idea from the opinions of others.. square parents, narcissistic partners, publications by influencers in the media, I don't know! And the first thing I ask is: does it harm your life? Don't you sleep 7 nights straight because of this problem? Do you seriously damage the relationships around you? Do you forget to pick up your children from school several times? Won't you work? Don't you eat? Does this compromise your physical integrity and proper functioning?

You will hardly hear me talk about a psychiatric illness, precisely because in order to diagnose one, it has to seriously harm your life! Most of the time it's minor neuroses, behavioral/emotional patterns, old tendencies. It's true that today they can harm us, so let's see where this comes from: how do we learn to do this, what do we really need and what's the best way to achieve it!

Fortunately, even for psychiatric illness there is hope as well, as well as medication – when it is frankly necessary! – there is also psychotherapy!! Whatever we do today, even if it harms ourselves and others, has a reason to exist, and it was usually the best way we found to survive, or in this case deal with pain. And this is one of the first therapeutic tasks, to develop compassion for ourselves, which we didn't know how to do better. Then, yes, we can decide whether to perpetuate the behavior, or whether to change the approach to suit our needs.

A similar subject, but with a different principle, is the case of a father who takes his son to a psychologist because he has a problem – he started lying, takes monkeys out of his nose, hits other boys… but that is conversations for another day!

I am fully aware that I don't know everything. I would really love to, but I don't even go to 10% of what is known about the human psyche! But I do know a few things, and always with a humble and flexible attitude, I write for those who can't have a psychotherapeutic follow-up – either because it's expensive, because they're not yet emotionally available to process pain, or because they don't feel compassion for what they didn't know how to do better.