How is he going to help me? You know what I'm going through

It makes sense for someone to believe that another person in the same painful situation will know exactly what they are feeling or thinking, how to comfort them, what kind of conflicts or problems they may be facing and how best to resolve them. That's why there are so many Support Groups, which have so much power of transformation and healing, because they indirectly create a sense of community.

We've all heard the expression “how is he going to help me? You know what I'm going through." As I said, there is actually more trust in helping people who are going through the same thing as us. But this does not exclude help from professionals who study enough to be competent even if they have never gone through the same painful situations. Of course, we also go through them, and it even makes sense that they promote the development of an above-average empathy. But it can also provide a therapist who reproduces his own inner life towards the client in such a way that it distorts the nature and focus of therapy on the client. Any situation has its advantages and disadvantages: I trust the quality of psychologists and that people should be well-informed and not fall into urban myths.

The second scenario is the consequence of the first: fear – the feeling of not being accepted in our pain, and (generally speaking) of not being accepted in our authenticity, which leads more to alienation, loneliness and compartmentalization of society; more than solidarity and unity. Take the example of gender identity or sexual orientation: such is the feeling of rejection and judgment that today labels are created that segregate niches in the community and cause more confusion than acceptance. I know that discrimination still exists, but I believe that the complexity of the Human Being is increasingly accepted, and reprisals fall on those who abuse, more than on those who express themselves.

The concept that would reduce the impact of these consequences, that would create greater confidence in one's own genuineness, in the kindness and generosity of others, in the sense of belonging and support within the community: empathy and unconditional acceptance, in what does not exceed our limits - freedom and integrity emotional and physical.